Review : Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974)

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre was directed by Tobe Hooper and was released in 1974. The film is a classic, vastly considered one of the best horror films ever made. Let’s be a bit controversial : I am one of those rare people who dislike The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. That being said, let me explain why !

The story is extremely simplistic : Two siblings visit their grandfather’s grave in Texas along with three of their friends and are attacked by a family of cannibalistic psychopaths. The plot is basic and it won’t get any more interesting than that. I have watched The Texas Chainsaw Massacre twice. The first time, I hated it and thought it was very bad. I still have some difficulties understanding why it is held in such high regards. I watched it a second time for the purpose of this review (which is dedicated to my friends Brandon and Derek who were shocked to find out how much I dislike this classic).

First, the cinematography and directing are no very good and the camera work is rather amateurish. The documentary style didn’t give a realistic feel to the story, in my opinion. I thought it was a poor excuse for mediocre filmmaking. I especially disliked the excessive use of zoom-ins and close-ups. They are badly made and Hooper overuses them to the point where it is simply annoying to look at. “Excessive use” is the expression that best sums up Hooper’s directing : if he finds one gimmick, you can be sure he’s going to use it to death. And that is a shame really, because there are indeed some good shots and some good ideas in this film. But repetition kills it all. For instance, the sunset shot at the end of the film in which Leatherface is swinging the chainsaw is amazing. Problem is, Hooper has used “sunset shots” numerous times in the film before so when you reach the ending, the effect feels old and loses its full impact. Hooper also has a tendency to drag sequences out until it becomes so boring you want to bang your head against the wall praying that the film will finally move on. The best example of that problem is the sequence in which Leatherface is chasing Sally in the woods. At first, it is quite scary and you do feel Sally’s raw terror. But, as usual, the chase is so damn long that it gets really boring and you are just hoping Leatherface will catch up to her and kill her so she quits screaming so goddamn much ! Oh, and did I mention the editing is atrocious throughout the entire film ? Well, it is.

Let’s talk a little bit about the characters. First, we have Franklin, Sally’s paraplegic brother. The idea is that Franklin is annoying and a burden for his sister and friends, mainly due to his handicap (Hooper is an asshole for implying that handicapped people who don’t have a choice but to rely on others for simple tasks are an annoyance). The main problem is that, either by acting or writing, Paul A. Partain doesn’t portray Franklin as an annoying brother but as a cringe-worthy 4-year-old brat. His performance is laughable, not because there is humor in it, but because it ridiculous and embarrassing. Then, there’s Sally. Oh, Sally ! How I hate this girl ! I’m almost disappointed that Leatherface didn’t cut her into pieces. Starting at 52:00 (yes, I wrote it down), 98% of Sally’s lines consist in screaming, screaming and more screaming. Who thought having her scream for the majority of the film was a good idea ? I never want my poor ears to endure this torture ever again. The siblings’ friends are forgettable so let’s not waste time on them. Let’s focus on the infamous family of psychos. First, we have The Hitchhiker. It is hard to decide who gives the worst performance in this film, but he and Franklin are at the top of the list. His portrayal of a deranged man is over-the-top, stupid, cringe-worthy and his actions don’t make sense most of the time. He is a caricature of a crazed man. And then, there’s Leatherface, who is a horror icon. Visually, he is indeed quite scary. He has a massive stature, a terrifying mask and a freaking chainsaw. But, there is one thing that absolutely destroyed his aura : there is a scene where he talks. Well, not exactly talks but makes sounds and mumbles a few words. I really, really, advise you to find the scene online to see what I mean when I say that his voice is ridiculous. He has a high-pitched voice that you’d expect from a little girl, not a big dude like Leatherface.

There is also one character who I simply don’t get : the grandfather. I do understand he is supposed to be very old but is he some sort of zombie ? He looks like a corpse and drinks blood. If he is just supposed to be a very old man, then his costume and face make-up (or mask, rather) are horrible. If he is “something else”, then how does that fit in with the rest of the film ? A film, may I remind you, that presents itself as a documentary-like experience to immerse you in real terror (real as in realistic).

Now, let’s not be hypocritical : The Texas Chainsaw Massacre has good scenes. While I really don’t like that film and can’t see what is supposed to be so great about it, I can’t say it is the worst film I’ve ever seen (because it’s not). I do admire the fact that you feel like you’ve seen a very gory film when in fact, the violence is not often shown on screen. The sunset shot at the end is beautiful…and..that’s pretty much it !

Before concluding my review, here are a few other things I wrote down about The Texas Chainsaw Massacre while I was watching it : Leatherface’s entrance is underwhelming and badly edited ;  the dinner scene which starts out great by giving a sense of surreal madness lasts too long for its own good and ends up being boring, stupid and headache-inducing ; why does the dinner scene take place at night but when Sally escapes, it is daytime ? ; the ending is abrupt, there is no fade to black, did they forget to properly edit it ?

I know the majority of cinephiles will highly disagree with my review of this beloved classic. However, I think I have given enough reasons why I don’t like the film not to be called a simple “hater”. I know how important this film is and what it did for the genre. But I do feel a lot of people say they like the film just because it is a classic. I do not like Tobe Hooper’s filmmaking to begin with, and The Texas Chainsaw Massacre is a good example why : I think it is badly made, badly edited, the characters are awful and so is the acting. I will certainly not be watching this crap ever again !

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Review : Toolbox Murders (2004)

Toolbox Murders, directed by Tobe Hooper and released in 2004, is a remake of the movie of the same name from 1978.

Nell and Steven, a young married couple, move into an apartment building who used to be a hotel house for actors. When renovations start, suspicious murders take place. Nell soon discovers that evil forces may be responsible for the residents’ gruesome murders.

Toolbox Murders has a heavy Texas Chainsaw Massacre vibe. The image is very grainy which gives Toolbox Murders an old school look. Through the entire film, I felt like Tobe Hooper was trapped in his own trademark style (at this point, I have to confess a fact that will certainly make you raise an eyebrow : I greatly dislike The Texas Chainsaw Massacre).

The characters were mostly over-the –top and purely designed to be killed. Nell, the main character, made some questionnable decisions. She is scared of her own shadow and yet goes looking for danger which felt out-of-character. The scenario also seemed ridiculous at times, especially with the addition of black magic. Halfway through the movie, the tone changes from a serious slasher to a silly gore-fest.

However, despite not bringing anything new to the genre, Toolbox Murders was still an entertaining slasher. I especially enjoyed the variety of the kills and the weapons used. The killer uses a different weapon for each murder which added to the entertainment value as none of the kills are boring or repetitive.

I did enjoy Toolbox Murders, it was a good slasher but after watching it, the only thing I really want is to find and watch the original.